


Boundaries

by Smosh (DeadLoaf)



Category: Smosh
Genre: Bi!Shayne, Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, GrayAce!Damien, M/M, Mentions of Sex, No Smut, but just give it a chance, i actually don't know how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-07 22:58:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21225638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadLoaf/pseuds/Smosh
Summary: When you’re comfortable in your position, you tend to stay within the boundaries. However, if there’s a chance for a whole lot of better possibilities, the only way to move forward is to break it.Coming out is just the beginning for Shayne, and Damien learns that it’s good to be selfish every once in a while.





	Boundaries

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sexy Ladies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18170969) by [themoonandmargot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/themoonandmargot/pseuds/themoonandmargot). 

> This fic does not intend to generalize in any way. 
> 
> _Masculinity and Femininity are not boxes in which we choose where to be caged in, rather they contain a whole spectrum in between that allows us to explore and express ourselves in varying ways._

Guys also ask other guys for opinions on their clothes. In conversations, hangouts, shopping – it happens more commonly than one might know.

Most people want to look their best, Damien and Shayne included, so giving opinions on style is a casual affair between them. He never really found this act to be demeaning nor emasculating in any way. But to be fair, they are actors and regular wardrobe changes sort of made them immune to certain embarrassments.

Here he is now, at the mall on a Saturday afternoon, trailing behind Shayne and scanning the racks for something interesting.

Shayne openly came out of the closet last week. This came as a surprise to most people, but this was nothing new to him who already knew years beforehand. The red imprints on his hand during the announcement was worth the effort to keep Shayne from combusting.

Now with the freedom to truly express himself, Shayne decided the first step in his personal evolution – clothes.

So far, nothing looks eye-catching but he did notice his best friend repeatedly glancing at a particular section. Knowing Shayne, he decided to give him a little bit of a push.

“Hey Shayne, do you want to try a crop top?”

Like a child caught stealing in a cookie jar, Shayne chewed his lower lip and fidgeted his fingers. “N-no, uh, I don’t think it’ll look good on me anyway.” Eyes betrayed words as he kept glancing back.

He gave a humoring smile and half-dragged Shayne by his arm to that section. “Please, you’ve been looking at it since we came here.” Damien chose and showed a loose maroon crop top, “Come on, try this on.”

“I don’t know. Wouldn’t it look weird on me? Skinny guys are usually the ones who look good in these.”

“You never know until you try, but I’m sure you can rock it. Besides, you said you wanted to try something different, yeah?”

A string of several emotions took place akin to channel surfing on the TV, before Shayne took a deep breath and nodded, gaining a determined look.

They went to the nearest changing area where he took a seat while Shayne changed. A few minutes later, he heard the rustle of curtains and a hesitant Shayne posed in front of the full-length mirror.

Surprisingly, he picked the perfect size that accommodated Shayne’s broad shoulders and had enough space for movement. It ended just about an inch above the navel.

It didn’t look out of place in his body and it looked really nice on him. But in all fairness, everyone looks good in everything especially if they love it. Judging from the surprised look and the straighter posture, Shayne seemed to like it too.

“See, it suits you. Do you want to try a couple more?”

Shayne pivoted and checked his angles before facing him, “Yeah, I think I would like that.”

He went back to the racks and chose different colors of the same style, knowing that Shayne would need time to adjust before getting to the crazier choices. They exited the shop with a bag filled with four varying colors.

* * *

Shayne wore the crop top at the privacy of his home first to get used to the feeling. It might look like a simple matter, but he grew up with several people who had a rigid view on masculinity. The years of testosterone-filled advices and mentality are difficult to just brush off like that.

He has worn something similar – and more revealing clothes – on videos, but there was a difference in wearing something for your job and wearing something as a part of your personality. Now that he doesn’t have to hide anymore, he supposes a change of pace is in order.

When Damien invited him to hang out at a new café, he felt it was the perfect time to try wearing it in public. Not only will his best friend be there, but it’s fitting to try a new style at a new place, right?

They opted to walk to the place, the clear sky and light breeze creating a wonderful day for a nice stroll.

While walking, Shayne couldn’t help feeling self-conscious, skin itching from the gazes of various passersby. His mind showed everyone looking at him, judging him, their harsh voices echoing in his head. Insecurities started to surface and buzz on his skin. He was on the verge of panic when a firm hand took ahold of his.

Looking beside him, Damien’s smile was comforting as he casually swayed their hands together. The encouraging squeeze took his mind off the rising anxiety and helped him relax. Lifting his mood further was a nice old lady who complimented his look, earning an “I told you so” from Damien.

They finally reached the _The Busy Bean _café and he was dreading having to let go. To his relief, Damien held on even after they ordered and took a seat.

“You all right, buddy?”

“Yeah, thanks by the way. But is it okay? I’m pretty sure the cashier thinks we’re dating.”

Damien huffed, “Nothing new about that.”

“Point taken.”

Their orders came with an added remark on how cute of a couple they are which they didn’t bother correcting. His worries melted with a bite of the cake coupled with the special coffee frappe, jokingly rolling his eyes whenever Damien would mockingly coo and wipe an occasional crumb or icing at the corner of his mouth.

When they headed home, he felt better and walked much more confidently, enjoying the breeze on his exposed tummy and the warmth on his hand.

Having worn mostly shirts and jackets his whole life, the sensation of wearing a crop top felt…freeing. Not just literally, but like breaking a rusty lock and opening a hidden door inside of him. It was idyllic.

Looking at all of his clothes, it was startling to see how out-of-place they looked. He needed more variation in his closet and invited Damien on another clothes shopping trip.

“Hmmm, if you want to try other styles, why not ask Court and Keith to come and help?” Damien shifted in his gaming chair to face him, “I’m sure you know that I don’t know much about fashion, but maybe they can recommend something?”

He thought about it and it actually made sense. Keith’s and Courtney’s sense of style are great and not too far from the direction he’s aspiring for. “Good idea, I’ll call them. But you’ll still come with me, right?”

“Of course, I’ll be there to make sure you don’t overdo it and go on a crazy shopping spree.” Shayne chuckled and jokingly punched his bicep.

As it turns out, Damien was right. The combination of Keith’s eclectic preferences with Courtney’s feminine choices opened his eyes to a lot of options.

Courtney was a little bit too enthusiastic, resembling a toddler high on sugar as she flitted from store to store, rack to rack, resulting in a huge pile of clothes for him to try on.

Meanwhile, Keith – bless him – was calm despite his excitement, filtering Courtney’s recommendations and adding some of his own. He even introduced the advantage of custom tailoring, very useful for someone like Shayne with his bulkier form.

* * *

Damien observed (and occasionally commented) as Shayne continued to experiment with clothes. In his own humble opinion, Shayne had little to worry since he looks good in almost everything – unlike himself.

But then again, he was never really much of a fashionista, preferring clothes that scream “I am comfortable” and “this shirt shows the shit I like.” Also, the majority of his shirts are free, giveaways, and merch. The only time he bothers dressing up is during special events or if someone manages to coerce him to.

From crop tops, Shayne diverged to off-shoulders. And boy, those are some shoulders, they had a hard time finding one loose enough so they only bought a couple. 

Long tunics, almost like dresses for men, came next and jokes about his preference for long shirts were exchanged more than he cared to count. Keith suggested to pair it with skinny jeans and some accessories, and Shayne found himself an alternate semi-formal attire.

The short and skirt hybrid were a bit pricier but looked the most stylish. Shayne couldn’t stop talking about his amazing calves, which he indeed has. Courtney introduced him to fishnet stockings and it gained more of an edge.

To someone who was not that exposed to the more androgynous side of clothing, the style was admittedly confusing for him at first. But the longer he looked, the more it made sense.

While Shayne was trying out the short/skirt, he thought that the overall look seemed incomplete. When he realized what was missing, he found the perfect idea for a gift for Shayne’s upcoming birthday.

As a really careful gift-giver, and because it’s Shayne, his best friend and who is also entering a new phase in his life, he decided to make it special and make the gift instead of purchasing it like he usually does.

He first looked for a perfect pattern online to help him materialize his idea. Then, he drew and finalized the design blueprint before visiting the leather supply store. He then got to work on his simple workspace after gathering all the needed materials.

They both had a tradition in which they celebrate together during their birthdays. It’s almost like an assurance that they will never spend that special day alone. Even if there was a prior party, a separate time will always be allotted just for the two.

It will be the perfect time to give his gift.

The big day came and they drove to Shayne’s apartment after having a blast at the office party. Their simple celebration consisted of Shayne’s favorite food, a small cake, and some good ol’ Netflix.

Sitting side-by-side on the couch, he reached for his backpack while Shayne was choosing a series to binge watch. He carefully pulled out a brown box and turned around to present it, “Happy Birthday, buddy.”

Shayne was noticeably stunned. After going through the usual denials, he closed his eyes, waiting nervously as the box was opened and the wrapping paper was removed. When he heard a gasp – that specific gasp when Shayne sees something mind-blowing, he remembered to breathe.

He opened his eyes and saw Shayne admiringly holding the black platform ankle boots and marveling at the details, “These look amazing! Where did you get this?”

“I made it,” he smiled wide, proud of his work.

One second and Shayne was hugging him with stammers of thanks, praises, and _oh my god_’s, and the next, Shayne was kissing him on the lips. It was over before he could even react.

“Oh no, sorry about that,” Shayne cringed back, “I got carried away…”

Kisses were nothing new between them, but it was usually reserved for the cheeks and forehead whenever they would cuddle during bad days. His slight aversion to touch may not exactly apply to his best friend, but this is unexplored territory, he didn’t want to trigger something that he’d regret. The tingle on his lips felt really pleasant.

“Nah, it’s all right. Why don’t you try it on?” He stashed it at the back of his mind to think about on a later date.

Blue eyes perked up, the ecstatic shine was back, giving Shayne a look of child-like wonder. He put on the boots, tested his balance, and practiced walking.

It was simple but stylish, having two decorative but adjustable buckles, a four (almost five)-inch chunky heel, and a zipper at the back for an easier fit.

“Oh yes! Tall Girl? It’s Tall Boy now! Muahahahaha! Bow down peasants!”

He giggled, “Don’t get too ahead of yourself, you have to take those off eventually.”

“Shut up! How dare you speak like that to your tall overlord?!” Shayne was suppressing his laughter, barely holding onto his indignant expression. It wasn’t long before they cracked and doubled over in laughter.

He got another bear hug, “But for real, these boots are magnificent. Thanks, Damien.”

“You’re welcome. Happy birthday, Shanyé.”

* * *

Part of coming out (except maybe for aromantics) usually comes with the desire to find their significant other. And for someone like Shayne who was repressed until his late twenties, the concept of dating again without having to conceal a big part of his identity was very much appealing.

“Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for a night of dancing and debauchery?” Damien announced from the driver’s seat, using his announcer voice.

“Heck yeah!” was the enthusiastic answer of Courtney as the engine started.

For this night, Shayne and Courtney planned to go bar-hopping and dolled up for the event. Bringing a girl home was usually his goal. Now, he wanted to try hooking up with a guy, letting Courtney use her makeup to add some slight feminine touches to his features. Not too much like a drag queen’s, but enough to still look masculine.

Naturally he was nervous, but it was trumped by excitement. He had always hid that side of him, squishing his previous boy crushes before it could get out of hand, so he never really had a chance to explore.

Tonight, who knows? Maybe he might just end up drunk? Maybe score a good lay with a hot guy? Maybe he might even get a boyfriend out of this?

To imply which side he’s batting on for the night, he chose to wear a short-sleeved crop top and fishnet stockings underneath his distressed jeans. And of course, the black ankle boots that Damien made for him.

Speaking of Damien, he volunteered to play servant for this night out. He was offered to join, but Damien wasn’t really into bars and most nightlife activities unless on family/work outings.

“Did you remember to pack your lube packets and condoms?”

“Damien!” he blushed while Courtney laughingly agreed.

“What?” he could almost imagine a mischievous grin, “I’m just asking.”

A few minutes later, Damien stopped his car near bar _numero uno_. He unbuckled his seatbelt to look at the backseat, “Here we are guys, stay safe and have fun. Call me if you need a ride home, all right? Especially if y’all decided to get drunk, I’ll play the boyfriend card if I have to.”

Courtney kissed Damien’s cheek. “Thanks Damimen! I’ll hold you to that. Hopefully, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She winked before getting out of the car.

“Hey Shayne, you ready bud?”

He took a few calming breaths, “Yeah, just give me a minute.”

“Don’t worry, you look great! Anyone who doesn’t think so should probably wear my glasses.” Damien patted his shoulder, “Knock’em out, tiger.”

Jaw unclenched and shoulders relaxed, he smiled, “Thanks. See ya tomorrow.” He got out of the car and saw Damien wave at them with a beep before heading home. He faced Courtney, “Are you ready?”

“Aye! Aye! Captain!”

Waking up in another bed under a different duvet was a familiar sensation. The exhaustion and the pleasant ache in his backside was not. He stared at the ceiling, recalling the ‘activities’ the night before, then promptly flushed.

He remembered a curly brunet buying him a drink at the second bar. Then there were flashes of dancing, bodies grinding, and an invite to his place. He barely recalled saying goodbye to Courtney, chatting at the car, then immediately sucking faces after closing the front door of the apartment.

_Oh my god…ohmygod…_

He saw his phone on the nightstand and reached for it, checking his messages. He doesn’t really feel like taking a cab in his current condition, so he sent a text to Damien to come pick him up. Thankfully, he was familiar with the neighborhood when he glanced out the window.

“Hey sweet cheeks, I made breakfast.”

Shayne sent a quick follow up text before stretching and getting out of bed.

_No need to rush! ;)_

* * *

Pulling over in front of a fairly big apartment complex, he recalled the days of playing the wingman which brought back lots of memories and a mix of uncertain emotions.

The latest text told him not to rush, so people were milling around the area when he got there. Minutes later, Shayne walked out with a tall brunet with chin-length curly hair. They exchanged a few words before they parted with a kiss and a last-minute pinch on the blond’s behind.

He brushed off the heavy feeling as the usual phantom pains from his previous stomach problems. It’s been a long time since he last felt that.

Shayne entered the car, cheeks pink and curling into a ball of embarrassment at the backseat.

“Didn’t you wear fishnets last night?”

Blue eyes tried to avoid his gaze, “It uh…” Shayne’s whole face turned red trying to answer.

He snorted and started the car, “Nevermind, your face might explode at this rate.”

The drive was silent while he gave Shayne time to collect his thoughts and make himself comfortable. This was a new experience and creating unnecessary landmines to step on is not ideal.

Though he had to bite his inner cheek to keep from laughing as he watched his best friend from the rearview mirror roll around through several stages of embarrassment and turn varying shades of red, silently screaming at nothing.

When the silence had gone on long enough, he started a conversation.

“So, how was your first rodeo?” Shayne snapped out of his thoughts and groaned as he adjusted his position to lie on his side instead.

“Uh, it was – holy shit. Sorry, it’s just unbelievable. But, I’m also like, really sore.”

He chuckled lightly, “I bet you are. Did you get his number?”

There was a small pause before he got a reply. “Yeah. But as hot as he is, I just want this to just be a one-time thing. I don’t want to jump the gun too early.” Shayne talked a little too fast, but he may just be still embarrassed.

He hummed, “You still up for some Smash later or do you want to sleep for now?”

Shayne straightened up, “Heck yeah, you bet I’m up for some more Smashing!” Cue childish giggling from the two. “Let me just take a nap and I’m good to go.”

“All right! I’ll pick up some take out then. Sex is fine and all, but food will always be better.”

It was time to film another episode of Smoshcast, this time with him, Mari, and Ian as the host. The topics started off nice enough with the updates on Smosh Games, games they were excited about, and then their favorite movies and anime series. He didn’t know how, but the conversation suddenly sidelined into an interrogation with him on the receiving end.

“So Damien,” Ian’s scheming grin should’ve been his clue, “did you ever go out with the girl we met at the Ren-Fair?”

He groaned loudly into his hands while Mari ooh-ed beside him, “Why are we talking about this again?”

“I mean Courtney’s been active on Bumble and Shayne’s recently joined the dating game. I thought, maybe you should be too,” Ian shrugged.

He sighed through his nose, “No, and can we please go back to the previous topic? Please?”

“Come on, I’m sure the fans would want to know one of our hottest bachelor’s lovelife.” Ian batted his eyelashes and turned to Mari, “Am I right?”

“No, they don’t need to know about my lack of lovelife. They already know so much about us, there are some things that need not be mentioned,” he ground out.

But it seemed that Ian was even more stubborn than usual today – he might have had more coffee than usual. “Or perhaps it’s not a she, but are you instead looking for a he? Are you a fan of the stick more than the melons?”

Now he’s starting to become uncomfortable, the subject bringing out a Pandora’s box that he’s been actively trying to avoid thinking about. With his tendency to overthink, it will spiral out of control and he will eventually get caught up in it.

“Ian, I love you man, but can we please move on. I am not really interested in talking about dating and dating in general right now.” He unleashed his puppy eyes on Mari, “Mama Mari, please, can you tell the bad bearded man to stop?”

Thankfully, Mari saw how desperate he is to change the subject and turned to face Ian. “Now Ian, leave the boy alone. I don’t think pressuring him will help, besides I’m sure Damien will tell us when he’s comfortable.”

He nodded vigorously to emphasize her point.

“Yeah, let’s go back to _Yu Yu Hakusho_, not many are talking about this masterpiece nowadays and it’s a travesty,” Mari sounded really indignant about it too.

There were signs of rebellion on Ian’s eyes and he was prepared to just walk out of the room altogether to avoid the badgering. But it seemed The Fates took pity on him for now.

“Hmmm you’re right.” Damien sighed in relief, “Sorry about that, and sure let’s get back to anime.”

He didn’t mean to sound so aggressive and reclusive but the topic of romantic relationships was and still remains a bit of a sore spot for him. They moved on to lighter subjects and the forbidden topic was never brought back again.

* * *

Olivia, despite being a suspected alien, is like a little sister to Shayne. Naturally, like most female siblings do, she also wanted a hand in dressing him up.

That is why when he went to visit her, he ended up being tested on like a Barbie doll in front of the vanity inside her room. And like how all makeup sessions go, conversations are unavoidable.

“So, how was your quest to find a date?” Olivia asked while she looked for her eyeshadow palette.

“Hmm, besides the hook-ups, not doing so well.” He tried to sound nonchalant, but he can’t help feeling disappointed. Now that the dating pool is bigger, he should’ve at least found someone to invite to a third date, or at least a second one.

She grabbed a brush and looked for a color, “Why? Did everyone had a red flag?”

“No, no, it’s just…” he struggled to find the words, “there’s…something missing. They weren’t bad honestly, I had a great time with most of them. But there wasn’t a…there wasn’t a spark.” It sounds cliché, but that’s how it felt like. There was some sort of a connection especially during the heated moments, but after that, nothing.

“Close your eyes,” she tapped the brush to remove the excess powder, “Are you sure? Not even one?”

“I’m sure.”

Olivia hummed as she blended, “Maybe, you already have someone in mind. Think about it, maybe you’re just projecting someone to your dates?”

Now that she mentioned it, there’s always that sinking feeling whenever he was with someone. He assumed it was instinct or some sort of intuition, which is why he followed it.

“I’m not saying it’s true and I’m not exactly the best one for romantic advice, but you know, just in case.” He felt a bigger brush on his cheek, “Maybe your dates have something in common?”

He tried to remember everyone he went out with since he came out. In hindsight, he definitely had a type. Varying shades of brown hair, mostly earth-toned eyes, and taller than him. The first person he could think of from the resulting image caused his heart to beat faster and made him want to repeatedly bash his head on the wall.

“Fuck.”

“I guess I’m right then?”

He knew several tall people who have brown hair and brown eyes, however everything would always be redirected to one conclusion – Damien. His co-worker, his best friend, his platonic soulmate. One thing he kept to himself was the fact that he was attracted to him when they first met. He tried to bury it deep inside him but he didn’t expect for it to bite him in the ass.

His buried attraction and Damien’s asexuality might have unknowingly formed a barrier between them. It was an invisible boundary that he never bothered to explore. Perhaps while he was trapped in the closet, he might not have realized he was steadily falling for his best friend as they grew closer over time.

“So do I know the lucky guy?”

“How are you sure he’s a guy?”

“You didn’t deny it,” the cold touch of a liquid liner brush met his eyelid, “I’m not gonna ask who, but maybe you should take a chance and go for him.”

Drumming his fingers on his lap, he sighed tiredly, “I don’t know. He is someone very close to me, I’m not even sure if he looks at me that way.”

“Then ask. If he’s not, pursue him. Take a leap of faith, I mean you know what happened with me and Sam, right?”

She did have a point. Not every path starts out smooth, and he can’t always be afraid of stumbling along the way. And if he found the courage to come out, maybe taking a chance with Damien wouldn’t be so bad.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to give you a gift on your birthday, remember?”

He opened his eyes when she stopped painting his face to rummage in her closet. She gave him a box wrapped in glittery paper. He fought the urge to deny and thanked her instead.

Carefully tearing the wrap, he opened the box and blinked at the contents. He blinked again to make sure that what he’s seeing is actually real.

“Olivia, I don’t want to sound like an ungrateful bitch, but are you sure that you bought this for me?”

“Yeah. Courtney told me about it. You’re trying on a more femme style, right?”

“That is true, but not to this extent. Are you really sure this is for me?”

“A hundred percent sure. Don’t worry, I made sure to buy the ones specifically tailored for men.”

_What the fuck? _

She shrugged with a careless smile, “Who knows? It might help spice things up a bit.”

Damien may not even be affected at all. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to try it. There’s a slight chance he might even like it – _slight chance_.

“How did you even know my size?”

“Um…”

* * *

It was time for another game night at Shayne's apartment. While he was in the middle of choosing another level to play, Shayne told him to stay put because he wanted to show something. More than ten minutes passed before Shayne finally showed himself, now donning a bath robe and…stockings?

“Hear me out. So, Olivia gave me a ‘surprising’ gift. And I don’t want it to go to waste so I decided to test and try it out because of, uh, reasons.” Shayne’s face was getting redder, “Okay, here it is.”

Shayne dropped his robe, revealing a black ensemble of sheer stockings with a matching lacy garterbelt, satin thong, and a sleeveless crop top that showed off his midriff. He did a slow turn, “So, what do you think?”

“Woah…I uh…I don’t know, but…woah.” The sight undoubtedly struck him speechless.

“Anything else?”

He shook his head, “I don’t what to say but wow, really.” Despite Shayne’s awkward stance and muscled physique, the lingerie settled around his form well, even the thong.

“So, I don’t look ridiculous?” He smiled exasperatedly and went to stand in front of Shayne, gently grasping his shoulders.

“You are gorgeous, no matter what you wear. Heck, you’re the first guy I ever saw in a lingerie and I think it suits you just fine.” He picked up the bath robe and took Shayne’s hand, “Wanna keep it on while we play so you’ll get used to it? You could wear it on another night out.”

They sat back down at the couch, he reached for his controller but he noticed that Shayne didn’t do the same. His brow was furrowed and he seemed to be debating with himself.

He was caught flat-footed when Shayne snapped out from his thoughts and asked a question that threatened to open a whole can of worms, “Have you ever thought about dating someone again?”

“Jesus! First Ian, and now you? Did y’all talk about this beforehand?” he resisted the urge to throw the controller to the floor. The frustration from that recording still didn’t fully leave his system.

“What? No! No, no, no, I’m just genuinely asking. You’ve been helping me out since I came out and I want to help just in case you’re interested with someone.”

“And why do you suddenly want to know?”

“We’re best friends, we practically tell each other almost everything. Of course, I want to know.”

No, he can’t be having this conversation, especially not with Shayne. He breathed deeply through his nose, “Shayne, I’m sorry, but I really don’t want to talk about this.”

“But why?”

He didn’t answer and made a move to stand, but Shayne pulled his hand then straddled him, ensuring no escape. Most would blush at the compromising position, especially with Shayne’s attire, but he was more focused on the blond’s serious expression, staring intensely with an emotion never usually directed at him.

“Why?”

“Because it doesn’t matter.”

Shayne looked taken aback, but he remained in place. “Why wouldn’t it matter? You’re a great guy, anyone would be lucky to have you.”

He laughed bitterly, “Oh yeah? That is what all my exes said too. But what happened, they all broke up with me. No one even lasted for half a year.”

“What if I can?”

He froze. A hand gently ran through his hair and cupped his face to meet soft baby blues.

“Damien, I really like you… a lot. As in more than a friend. I guess I always have, but it may have gotten trapped with me in the closet. I thought maybe you would agree if I ask you out.”

Years ago, he would have jumped for joy at the words and made out with Shayne right on the spot. However, past experiences and damaging words have weathered him and made his heart a little bit colder.

“Shayne, please think about it. I’m sure you know how relationships work these days, people like me are usually treated as either a challenge or undesirable. Who in their right mind doesn’t want a lot of sex? Why would you date someone like that?” Now that he started, he can’t seem to stop. Tears prickled at the corner of his eyes.

“I was honestly content with us just being friends. And even if it hurts seeing you with someone, at least it’s my fault and not yours. Please, we can pretend that this didn’t happen–”

Shayne’s free hand cupped his other cheek, “No, I’m serious. I, I love you.” The fingers were warm but he refused to accept the inviting comfort.

“How can you be sure it will be different this time?”

“Our friendship is still ongoing after eight years, isn’t that enough proof?” Shayne’s voice mellowed, a small smile on his lips. “We’ve never done anything past cuddling and short kisses, but we’re still hanging on to each other until now. We don’t even have to change much, we’ll probably just be closer than usual, go on dates, maybe some PDA. Sex is not important to me. It’s. You. Who. I. Want.” He emphasized it with a finger pointing at his chest after every word.

Resolve steadily fading, the chains he wrapped around his heart through the years were quickly unraveling within the past few minutes. “Are you really sure about this?” The question was more for his own sake, losing Shayne would be too much.

The answer he got was a pair of lips capturing his. When a tongue asked for entrance, his eyes fluttered close and he parted his lips, slanting his head to deepen the kiss. Shayne’s hand never left his cheek, the other slid under his shirt to run fingers down his chest. Meanwhile, his arms wrapped around Shayne’s waist, pulling him closer.

While it was their first time kissing each other like this, their movements were sure as if honed by time and practice. Their heads remained close enough to share the same air when they had to stop to catch their breath.

“Just give me – give us a chance. We don’t have to hide anymore.”

* * *

Frankly, making out with your shirtless best friend on the bed wearing nothing but a crop top and lingerie, should have felt arousing and sexual. Not to say he wasn’t aroused, but it was driven more by the intimate closeness rather than the desire to be pounded into the mattress.

If there’s one thing for sure, intimate cuddling – because that’s basically what this is – has never felt more satisfying. Sure he had experience with men and women far more talented in bed, but something about Damien’s firm caresses, languid kisses, and burning gaze took him away in a whirlpool of emotions that left him overwhelmed in the best way possible.

Their actions may look erotic but it feels more romantic than anything.

Legs tangled under the sheets, held tight against a firm chest, they were in their own little world. One of his hands settled at the back of Damien’s neck while the other gently ran up and down his bare back.

He felt a light kiss on his crown, “You’re so warm.”

Damien hugged him closer as if trying to take in as much warmth from the touch of bare skin against his. He craned his neck to give a light peck on his lips and he felt Damien melt further into the warmth.

He didn't feel a spark. No, it was more like a blazing furnace between them. “Of course, who wouldn’t be in this situation? You’re really warm too.”

The arms around him loosened a bit, one hand moved up to cradle his head. Never had someone looked at him with such tenderness, holding him in a way that made him feel so precious. And if he was more breathless than usual, it wasn’t just because of the soul-sucking kisses.

It really says something about their friendship that shifting into a lovers’ dynamic didn’t feel _that_ different. Like he said, they were closer – like really close, hangouts turned to dates, and their usual shenanigans had a flirtier undertone to it.

Funny enough, he grew to like the lingerie and even braved himself to ask Olivia where he could get a few sets more. He felt really sexy wearing one, and it just adds another dimension during their intimate cuddling. Damien didn’t mind, in fact he didn’t care what he wore as long as he felt comfortable.

And every once in a blue moon when Damien gets in the mood too, he milks the moment for all it’s worth. The time in between makes the whole experience much more gratifying and satisfying. Damien looks glorious when he cums, toes curled, eyes a narrow ring of glowing amber, and a picture of absolute bliss on his face. He doesn’t get to see it as much, so he burns the image into his mind and it keeps him going longer than usual.

All in all, everything looks great. There were a few hiccups along the way, but nothing that good old communication can’t solve.

The next time they walked to the _The Busy Bean_ again, he was much more relaxed, more confident, and fully settled into his identity. He wore his favorite short/skirt hybrid and his ankle boots, hand intertwined with Damien’s. They were an odd couple in several ways, but they didn’t mind.

And when the servers would kindly ask, “Are you guys dating?”

Damien would smile at him softly instead of flinch, and he would answer with no hesitation nor the need to pretend, “Yes, yes we are.”

**Author's Note:**

> This took longer than it should lol. I tried my best, hope y'all still like it :)


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